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It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
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Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
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Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
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It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
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All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
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Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
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Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
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A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
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Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
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Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
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Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
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The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
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USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
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I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
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Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
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I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
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Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
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I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
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Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
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Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
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I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
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